The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.

One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.

You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.

Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.

No matter how corrupt, greedy, and heartless our government, our corporations, our media, and our religious & charitable institutions may become, the music will still be wonderful.

Sometimes I have believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

Some people would rather change and some people don't. Some people don't want to be forced to stay in a certain atmosphere.

The soul's dark cottage, batter'd and decay'd, Lets in new light through chinks that Time has made.

Once somebody's aware of a plot, it's like a bone sticking out. If it breaks through the skin, it's very ugly.

Truth is the most powerful force on earth because it cannot be changed.

My government, a government of national unity, will make all necessary structural reforms.

The Romans used every housing form known today and they have a remarkably modern look.

I grew up skateboarding, but I don't even do that anymore.

You can not achieve an aim unless you have a method.