The first Monopoly game I played with my brothers, I hated losing so much, I just had to beat them.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

The strength of a civilization is not measured by its ability to fight wars, but rather by its ability to prevent them.

I'm proudest of the fact that I've been able to make a few movies in the studio system that are slightly unorthodox and personal. But it's never quite as easy as you dream that it could be.

Do nothing by halves which can be done by quarters.

The jewelry stores say, 'Tell your wife you love her with a diamond,' while wives tell you they love you with, 'Ok, but just because it's Valentine's Day.'

The best way to have peace is to always be prepared to fight a way.

What do I think of L.A.? It's boring, with some amazing nuggets. Like there are some parts of it that are great, but by and large I think it's quite boring.

There are two kinds of freedom: one is the freedom from something, which is a reaction; and the other is not a reaction, it is "being free."

Maybe I could be friends with a ghost. I wouldn’t be able to kill him.

Fall was slipping quietly into winter

I get psyched about coming onto a Broadway stage every night. it's very exciting. You develop a kind of gratefulness for it when you spend months trying to get a job.