The first Olympic Games were held in 776 BC. Do you know who lit the flame? Betty White.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

I walk with a dual longing for life and for death.

The hottest thing in the world is to wear pants with stockings.

Understand that you don't know it all. You don't know anything yet. What you've been taught is great, but always go with common sense. And don't marry your first love.

The fullness or emptiness of life will be measured by the extent to which a man feels that he has an impact on the lives of others.

Impossibility is a log thrown on the fires of love.

Many drops make a bucket, many buckets make a pond, many ponds make a lake, and many lakes make an ocean.

The more cash that builds up in the treasury, the greater the pressure to piss it away.

On my tombstone, I want written: 'He never did 'Love Boat!''

Actually we're very lucky John McCain is not in charge because I think we would be in perpetual war.

It would have been impossible to get 'The Verdict' off the ground without Paul Newman obviously, but today without any star, kind of a dramatic piece would be very tough.