The first lady said about her husband, 'I could take up a whole afternoon talking about his failures.' And today she was offered her own show on Fox News.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

Don't you think a dream would feel shy if it were seen walking about in the waking world?

If you want to routinely break the law and get away with it, then a police officer would be a great career choice for you.

Every bad decision I've made has been based on money.

You think that when you love somebody you have to totally follow him or her. No, that's not love. When you love somebody, you have to be totally truthful with that person.

It's not about having it all. It's about having what you value most.

Music has always been a huge part of my life.

It has been proven now scientifically that, an affirmative thought is hundreds of times more powerful than a negative thought.

We're not dropping out here, we're infiltrating and taking over.

I don't know any woman who doesn't have an anxiety attack about wearing a bathing suit.

Then hate me when thou wilt, if ever, now.