The first language that I learned was Italian in Italy in the early and middle-'60s and I had to do that to keep up with the young men who were courting my wife.

Whoever called snooker "chess with balls" was rude, but right.

Snooker is just chess with balls.

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

The British secret service was staffed at one point almost entirely by alcoholic homosexuals working for the KGB

A sceptic finds Dallas absurd. A cynic thinks the public doesn't

It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.

A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all.

Fiction is life with the dull bits left out.

Disco dancing is just the steady thump of a giant moron knocking in an endless nail.

They had a... dog called Bluey. A know psychopath, Bluey would attack himself if nothing else was available.

You trivialize time when you don’t know what to do with it.

. If you want to write, just write anything that comes into your mind. You will be surprised at how you can force inspiration to stand on your side.

I believe in living in the moment. To keep working hard in all that I’m doing. Achieve my goals and leave the rest to God.

Vell, Zaphod’s just zis guy, you know?

A little knowledge that acts is worth infinitely more than much knowledge that is idle.

The wise man delights in water, the Good man delights in mountains. For the wise move; but the Good stay still. The wise are happy; but the good secure.

I'm an entertainer. I get up on stage and I try to make people enjoy my music, and that political arena - I'm going to stay out of it, right out.

Wickedness is always easier than virtue; for it takes the short cut to everything.

I see so many guys, really athletic guys, wearing pleats and I just shake my head. Like, Tiger Woods used to wear pleated pants! I'm like, 'C'mon, Tiger!'