The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.

The enjoyment of life would be instantly gone if you removed the possibility of doing something.

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.

It is a pity that instead of the Pilgrim Fathers landing on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock had not landed on the Pilgrim Fathers.

If you will refrain from telling any lies about the Republican Party, I'lll promise not to tell the truth about the Democrats.

As for food, half of my friends have dug their graves with their teeth.

The walk downstairs to the breakfast table is excercise enough for any gentleman.

The government of the United States is and always has been a lawyer's government.

There have been many Presidents of the United States and the roll will be indefinitely extended. We have had a number of brilliant soldiers, but only one great general.

"What is the most beautiful word in the language?" The elderly lawyer quickly replied: "Home."

I get my exercise acting as pallbearer to my friends who exercise.

one bothers oneself for nothing.

A stroll by the silent shores watching the sunset-Every bookaholic's dream.

The liberal idea of tolerance is more and more a kind of intolerance. What it means is 'Leave me alone

Unfortunately, the current generation of mail programs do not have checkers to see if the sender knows what he is talking about.

Every time I nostalgically try to regain my liking of John McCain, he reaches into his sleaze bag and pulls out something malodorous.

I've never had the impulse for someone else to translate me into my own language. My impulse has always been to translate someone else into mine.

I convinced her that her first loyalty isn't to other people, but to her own feelings.

The thing about stories is you have to pick the ones that last.

Then a sentimental passion of a vegetable fashion must excite your languid spleen, An attachment a la Plato for a bashful young potato, or a not-too-French French bean!

Those who have the largest hearts have the soundest understandings; and they are the truest philosophers who can forget themselves.