The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.

The only dependable law of life - everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.

Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.

Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

People can cry much easier than they can change.

Music not only saved my life, it gave me a life

We can't command our love, but we can our actions.

Personal beauty requires that one should be tall; little people may have charm and elegance, but beauty-no.

One must be truthful with oneself about one's own motives, especially if one is to survive in the world. It takes rigor, and it takes courage.

If God were small enough to be understood, He would not be big enough to be worshipped.

A dead enemy is a joy forever

Everything one reads is nourishment of some sort - good food or junk food - and one assumes it all goes in and has its way with your brain cells.

The idea that one might derive satisfaction from his or her successful work, because that work is ingenious, beautiful, or just pleasing, has become ridiculed.

My neck and shoulders are killing me. Hard to focus on writing about murder, doom, shagging, our hopeless future & other comedy etc etc.