The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go.

From the point in life when a man/woman is responsible for his/her choices, he/she starts to live a story brought to life by the dreams that have been consciously or subconsciously conceived.

When I meet people, I no longer say "Hi, I'm Derek Landy, pleased to meet you." Now I say "Hi, I'm number one bestselling author Derek Landy. Worship me.

He’s worth fighting for, but I won’t change who I am for any man. No more than he should alter himself to suit me.

A giant thirst is a great joy when quenched in time.

But the present life should never be hated, except insofar as it subjects us to sin, although even that hatred should not properly be applied to life itself.

I love every kind of music.

You never know who will see your images hanging. And I like that. I think you never really have control over the things that you do.

Pride divides the men, humility joins them.

In mathematics, two angles that are said to coincide fit together perfectly. The word "coincidence" does not describe luck or mistakes. It describes that which fits together perfectly.