The fool is often oblivious of his own gaucherie.

Our form of democracy is bribery, on the highest scale.

There's a lot to be said for being nouveau riche, and the Reagans mean to say it all.

The unfed mind devours itself.

We are the United States of Amnesia, we learn nothing because we remember nothing.

Democracy is supposed to give you the feeling of choice, like Painkiller X and Painkiller Y. But they're both just aspirin.

Write something, even if it's just a suicide note.

Persuading the people to vote against their own best interests has been the awesome genius of the American political elite from the beginning.

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.

You know, I've been around the ruling class all my life, and I've been quite aware of their total contempt for the people of the country.

That loyal retainer of the Chase Manhattan Bank, the American president.

It is a tiresome way of speaking when you should despatch the business to beat about the bush.

One must open men's eyes, not tear them out.

I like to kill people in my dreams, so when I fall asleep be sure not to come too close.

I never reread a text until I have finished the first draft. Otherwise it's too discouraging.

Back in those days it was just me swimming around in the dark, doing back flips and taking naps whenever I want.

There's a classic story I tell about when I did the Man Show about the retarded conversations that you have with the executive producers and the network.

The core of the American public, their hearts and their minds are in the right place. And that gives me hope.

The easiest thing to find on God's green earth is someone to tell you all the things you cannot do.

The more information you have, the better you will be.