The free market is ugly and stupid, like going to the mall; the unfree market is just as ugly and just as stupid, except there is nothing in the mall and if you don't go there they shoot you.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Throughout history, people with new ideas—who think differently and try to change things—have always been called troublemakers.

Free’s my favorite price.

Above all we should not forget that government is an evil, a usurpation upon the private judgement and individual conscience of mankind.

Beliefs and values that have held sway for thousands of years will be questioned as never before.

If an angel were to tell us about his philosophy, I believe many of his statements might well sound like '2 x 2= 13'.

In any spiritual undertaking, God's first order of business is to see to the spiritual health of His people.

I would rather live in a country where children are protected and their predators prosecuted, and even (which in Hollywood is evidently not always the same thing) disapproved of.

It's something that's really fun to do. It's a family business.

With film acting, and often when the camera comes very close, you just have to think about something and the camera will pick it up.

The mathematics of high achievement