The funniest line in English is 'Get it?' When you say that, everyone chortles.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.

Hospitality is the practice of God's welcome by reaching across difference to participate in God's actions bringing justice and healing to our world in crisis.

Raw, freezing magic detonated from her outstretched hand with the sound of a thousand thunderclaps.

Sorrow is a fruit. God does not make it grow on limbs too weak to bear it.

Chronic dissatisfaction is how you sense that you are living a lie.

Change the world. Build a business. Have fun.

He who would be serene and pure needs but one thing, detachment.

If you are going to survive in business, show business or any business, then you have to be bold.

Fighting battles is like courting girls: those who make the most pretensions and are boldest usually win.