The future will soon be a thing of the past.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

My shower doesn't make everything go away. The world doesn't feel like a bigger, brighter place because my hair smells like coconuts.

Beauty itself is a painful convulsion in the heart, an abundance of vitality in the soul, and a mad chase undertaken by the spirit until it encounters the heavens.

God has given you grace. Maybe you should give yourself some too.

It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But... it is better to be good than to be ugly.

Even the severed branch grows again, and the sunken moon returns: wise men who ponder this are not troubled in adversity.

Inside, I was like: "Ha, suck my spiky rubber strap-on, vampyre hunter!

Valkyrie: “You are such a moron.” Skulduggery: “Don't be jealous of my genius.

Human beings are much better at breaking up than they are at getting together. The instinct to get together is very powerful, but it doesn't last long.

I don't believe in writing anything that I don't know about or haven't researched about personally. I like to transport the reader to places, and in order to do that I have to do the research.

When you drop all your ideas, fantasies and projections about who you are and what freedom is and remain completely empty, this is freedom.