The goal of all civilization all religious thought and all that sort of thing is simply to have a good time. But man gets so solemn over the process that he forgets the end.

Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

By the time a bartender knows what drink a man will have before he orders, there is little else about him worth knowing.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

Punctuality is one of the cardinal business virtues: always insist on it in your subordinates.

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'

Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.

The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.

A fierce unrest seethes at the core, of all existing things:, it was the eager wish to soar, that gave the gods their wings.

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

Without labor nothing prospers.

Liberty begets license.

You and you alone are the only person that can live the life that writes the story that you were meant to tell. And the world needs your story because the world needs your voice.

the Irish ... are full of the fear of the Lord and the joy of living, and they don't know how to combine the two, but they'll sure have a good time trying.

Rich people buy luxuries last, while the poor and middle class tend to buy luxuries first.

My show is not just a cop hosting a talk show - the two are completely different. My show is about helping people stand up to the bad guy.

Intent is guilt. Failure to successfully carry out the intent does not absolve the guilt.

Rational behavior requires theory. Reactive behavior requires only reflex action.

Remember that poise and power are inseparably associated. The calm and balanced mind is the strong and great mind; the hurried and agitated mind is the weak one.