The god excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

The beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

You must learn not to rely so heavily on others. Only then will help come when you truly need it.

A successful school has to engage all the people, all the powers, and all the capacities within it.

I was supposed to be a romancer, either wooing the leading lady or competing with the leading man for her.

You ever stop to think they can't rob you of knowledge? They can strip you and you've still got it.

I'm a big root beer guy.

So basically, I don't know what I'm talking about. But maybe I do.

The question in crisis or ordeal is not: Are you going to be an extremist? The question is: What kind of extremist are you going to be?

If Jupiter hurled his thunderbolt as often as men sinned, he would soon be out of thunderbolts.

Well, it's a Bloody Mary morning, my baby left without warning.