The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

We do not start as dust. We do not end as dust. We make more than dust.That's all we ask of you. Make more than dust.

If growing up means not seeing one’s family and friends on the regular—all in the name of paying the bills, then growing up is overrated.

New hope, new adventure.

Connected knowers do not measure other people's words by some impersonal standard. Their purpose is not to judge but to understand.

With each passing day, I become more and more convinced that the greatest threat to American freedom is the United States government.

Any horse can win on any given day.

It's so different to be a sparrow. But nobody asked this rat if he wanted to be a rat when he was made. Nobody said, 'Wouldn't you rather be a sparrow?

We are all born in the same way but we all die in different ways.

So often we don't give from our abundance. We give from what we have no use for. I have learned that God not only looks at what we give but also at what we keep.

If I see someone I'm in awe of I'm like, 'Oh my God. Oh. My. God.' But on the outside I'm very calm. I'd never run up and hassle anyone.