The government of the United States is and always has been a lawyer's government.

The enjoyment of life would be instantly gone if you removed the possibility of doing something.

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.

It is a pity that instead of the Pilgrim Fathers landing on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock had not landed on the Pilgrim Fathers.

The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.

If you will refrain from telling any lies about the Republican Party, I'lll promise not to tell the truth about the Democrats.

As for food, half of my friends have dug their graves with their teeth.

The walk downstairs to the breakfast table is excercise enough for any gentleman.

There have been many Presidents of the United States and the roll will be indefinitely extended. We have had a number of brilliant soldiers, but only one great general.

"What is the most beautiful word in the language?" The elderly lawyer quickly replied: "Home."

I get my exercise acting as pallbearer to my friends who exercise.

People perish. Books are immortal.

I remember watching the mascara tears flood the ivories and I thought, "It's OK to be sad." I've been trained to love my darkness.

I'm exhausted from not talking.

It’s not getting to the wall that counts; it’s what you do after you hit it.

I am weird, you are weird. Everyone in this world is weird. One day two people come together in mutual weirdness and fall in love.

If people say "no" to you and it's something you really want to do, keep going and you'll succeed.

I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave.

Great leaders are pragmatists who can deal with difficult realities but still have the optimism and courage to act.

I wasn't the biggest, the fastest, the strongest, and then I bought into something called work ethic.

Unsubstantial Death is amorous.