The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow married her.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

I reach my object and say, Wander no more. All else is trial and make-believe.

The tonality of my life is hidden behind my ambition.

You can't judge Islam by those people any more than you can judge Christians by abortion clinic bombers or white separatists. Love turn to hate at the fringes of any belief system.

Celtic fans are some of the greatest supporters I know.

I love Austin. It's great here. I don't mind the heat.

What evidence do you have that you know Jesus?

I am a feminist with a capital 'F' .

All that Hubert needs over there is a gal to answer the phone and a pencil with an eraser on it.

As a girl, I am this stupid, emotional, very loyal, sort of believe-in-values-and-principals sort of girl.

Correcting bad habits cannot be done by forbidding or punishment.