The hard part about SNL is, there's no real communication when you get there. It's not like people are mean to you, they just act like you're not there.

There's always something funny about men chasing women.

You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun.

Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.

You know the drill. 18 is legal. 17 with consent. 16 with a note. 15 if her dad's in the room. Low five!

I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.

I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.

Staying in a hotel this time. They put me up in a little bit of a shithole. Yeah. Just this side of rinky dink. The first 7 floors are a homeless shelter, but I'm on 8.

Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality; it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.

I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder.

My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.

To be happy is to be a little bit sad for it is the negative that balances the positive. What is the use of being happy if there is no sadness?

Whenever we have excess, giving should be our natural response. It should be the automatic decision, the obvious thing to do in light of Scripture and human need.

My favorite movie is Dumb and Dumber. It's a classic and I can pretty much recite the entire movie.

I still had the same affection for New Zealand as I've always had. Didn't change at all.

History never recorded this phrase: 'The Mass of Wise.' Because the wise is not too abundant to form masses!

It is a burden because I get asked about my father all the time. I just need to accept that he was a champion before me.

I have always had a certain rhythmic approach to my work.

Remember always, that man is a creature whose reason is often darkened with error.

Here is the amazing thing about Easter; the resurrection Sunday for Christians is this, that Christ in the dying moments on the cross gives us the greatest illustration of forgiveness possible.

I dont care if youre Britney freakin Spears, nobody is going to steal my spotlight!