The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.

For someone so intuitive, ” he said, shaking his head, “sometimes you only see what you expect to see.

You're not challenging anyone else but yourself. I'd like to have a 300-pound bench, 500-pound deadlift, and a 400-pound squat.

What was important wasn't the fireworks, it was that we were together this evening, together in this place, looking up into the sky at the same time.

The problem is someone will try to convince you That they know the answer no matter the question Be wary of those who believe in a neat little world 'Cause it's just ..... crazy - you know that it is

You can't speak for the people unless you're able to walk amongst the people. And how many of these rappers out here actually hang out with regular people?

A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

What was the point of spending your life with someone you were always looking for ways to decieve?

No music + Bad TV = Bad mood & no pages.

When I'm going to see a comedian, I don't want to see them hold back, and when I'm reading a book, I don't want to hear an abridged version.

Power doesn't have to show off. Power is confident, self-assuring, self-starting and self-stopping, self-warming and self-justifying. When you have it, you know it.