The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.

What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!

Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.

Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'

The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'

I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'

Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.

I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.

WORTH IT and perfect are different things. No one’s perfect, yet in romance, everyone becomes WORTH IT. And that’s the trick.

Sorry, I didn't see the big X with the words Top Secret Government Laboratory on the map, did you?

My grandmotherhad no time for old, no matter how her face crinkledor her days folded like an apron aroundher middle.

Whether you call it Buddhism or another religion, self-discipline, that's important. Self-discipline with awareness of consequences.

If you fail to gain absolute self-control, you have failed in the greatest victory of life.

Life can unfold unlimitedly as long as we have a heart of appreciation and an undefeated mind.

On cable TV, they have a weather channel

The impact of falling in love for the first time has a special place in our arhitecture.

Learn diligence before speedy execution.

The wretched hasten to hear of their own miseries.