The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

Roger’s wand made a crackling noise as he traced it around Winston’s arms, down his waist, and everywhere else.

They were marketing me as a teen idol, when the stuff on the record was not what teen idols were doing at the time.

Love lasts when the relationship comes first

No, I'm so well-known at home I think they think of me like a piece of comfortable furniture that's always been around that they're not going to throw out.

I've sacrificed lots of aspects of my personal life to do what I do.

People had an illogical, self-serving rationale when it came to interpreting the behavior of others.

No one has patience for love except their own.

A novelist must preserve a childlike belief in the importance of things which common sense considers of no great consequence.

Shoes twisted into incredible lilies.

God is like the sun. When the sun shines, it shines for everyone. God is for everyone.