The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

I'm not that smart, but I'm smart enough to know that if Usher wants to help you, you let him.

It being a part of Mrs. Pipchin's system not to encourage a child's mind to develop and expand itself like a young flower, but to open it by force like an oyster.

I always wanted to be the strongest man on the field. Most of the time, they said I was lifting too much but I didn't believe in that at all.

Every girl likes feeling hot and sexy and beautiful and likes hearing it.

I let him know a hurt had been mended in a way that he couldn’t have known, and for that alone there would always be a piece of me indebted to him.

Mother didn't understand that children aren't frightened by stories; that their lives are full of far more frightening things than those contained in fairy tales.

It seems like at some point you'd run out of awful.

Language is the picture and counterpart of thought.

You can't change who you are, so I think that the only thing you can do is just never talk to people about stuff and then hope that maybe does something.

1,2,3, I'm at the Chelsey Hotel, like, Sid and Nancy, with knife, and two grams of candy