The ideal way to get rid of any infectious disease would be to shoot instantly every person who comes down with it.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

It doesn't matter what women wear. No matter what, someone's going to have a problem with it.

Writing is magic happening on paper

It's not about failure it's about trying something and risking something for attaining your goal.

It's naturally kind of humiliating and strange to have a microphone; when you're young you just make movies, you don't worry about all the peripheral stuff that comes with it.

Have fun - a smile is the most beautiful thing on a woman.

You have to be a pretty miserable person to not enjoy making movies. It's something I always dreamed about. I do not take it for granted.

There are no benefactors in Canada because there is no incentive.

I don't know if they're really like everybody else, or if they're able to pretend they are.

I'm just very body-conscious. Sometimes I'm really proud that I don't look like other pop stars. But there's also moments where I'm like, 'Ugh, I wish I had abs like Bieber.'

I point at a window to my left, and it explodes. Particles of glass rain over us. ‘You’ll have to do better than that,' I say.