The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes.

Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates.

The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners.

Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak.

Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees, begging for my life.

I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed.

I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains.

Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion.

Education: learning to find your purpose. Upon finding your purpose: what did I learn?

If all women revealed their age, men would have nothing to hide from each other.

Bike lane: the section of the road that accommodates wide loads and has speed bumps to protect drunk drivers.

All things in the world of Nature are not controlled by Fate for the soul has a principle of its own.

If we contest with a lesser opponent, we reduce ourselves, and in the process wind up being lesser accomplished.

The advantage of doing one's praising to oneself is that one can lay it on so thick and exactly in the right places.

I thought you had to give up a lot for art, and you did. It required complete concentration. It also required that whatever money you had had to be put into art materials.

Monsters just outside our peripheral vision are scarier to contemplate than monsters miles away or in someplace only a fool would set foot in.

We can increase the frequency of guiding coincidences by uplifting every person that comes into our lives. Care must be taken not to lose our inner connection in romantic relationships.

Relationships are the foundation of leadership.

Americans continue to rapidly homogenize ourselves into a neutered oblivion. For a country founded on the protection of the unique, we relish our sameness.

For an introvert his environment is himself and can never be subject to startling or unforeseen change.

If you don't play to win, why keep score?