The ideas by which people . . . interpret their existence and in measure guide their behavior, were not forged in a world of wealth.

The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.

Oligopoly is an imperfect monopoly. Like the despotism of the Dual Monarchy, it is saved only by its incompetence.

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.

But there is merit even in the mentally retarded legislator. He asks the questions that everyone is afraid to ask for fear of seeming simple.

Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.

If all else fails immortality can always be assured by adequate error.

The process by which banks create money is so simple that the mind is repelled.

There is certainly no absolute standard of beauty. That precisely is what makes its pursuit so interesting.

Simple minds, presumably, are the easiest to manage.

Every corner of the public psyche is canvassed by some of the most talented citizens to see if the desire for some merchandisable product can be cultivated.

I had hard feelings around the holidays, the one time of year I couldn’t help but fall prey to the canned self-pity Christmas prescribes.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

Fashion is a declaration of your own freedom.

Life is a straight drink - straight pleasure, straight pain, straightforward, one hundred percent.

Great leaders inspire people to have confidence in themselves.

Any wife will save you from purgatory, and a diligent one will secure heaven to you.

Teenagers are my life and my triumph. I'd be nowhere without them.

It is not so much what we say or do that educates; what really educates is who we are.

Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.

It must be this rhapsody or none, The rhapsody of things as they are.