The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

Given greater freedom about where to send their children, parents of a kind would flock together and so prevent a healthy intermingling of children from decidedly different backgrounds.

I have a dream, humans were part of aliens on earth.I also dream, that some humans are really indigenous.

And so this is Christmas...what have you done?

I want people to hear my story, they're gonna feel my pain.

It's worse now because before I had 16 Republican, conservative people and the media had their favorite but they didn't particularly love anybody. Now it's myself really against the media.

I don't rehearse a lot. I try to keep it organic. Even in movies, the less I rehearse, the better I am.

Anyone who wants to achieve something, needs a lot of work.

Love with no boundaries. Your future depends on your capacity to love.

Winter's palette is clear and spare, restrictive enough to curb the excesses of even the most daring gardeners.

Let my enemies devour each other.