The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

This is the one who will find us. He's the one who will lead them all back to me someday. He's the explorer. El curioso.

Try not to say "I have" unless it’s not bought by the money. If materialism is a blessing would have not been sold out in streets

Why's it so sunny?" she repeated.Zooey observed her rather narrowly. "I bring the sun wherever I go, buddy, " he said.

That was when things got weird. You may have thought things were weird already, but this was uber-weird

When people are bored it is primarily with their own selves.

Public scandals are America's favorite parlor sport. Learning about the flaws and misdeeds of the rich and famous seems to satisfy our egalitarian yearnings.

You get into your late fifties, people start falling like flies all around you. I don't take life for granted any more. I'm really glad to be here.

Sometimes you must lose everything to gain it again, and the regaining is the sweeter for the pain of loss.

We are imperfect. We cannot expect perfect government.