The inhabitants will always see both sides of an argument so long as it can result in a fight.

When I die, I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. I wonder would they know it was me?

On Being Old. It's not nice but take comfort that you won't stay that way for ever.

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

I'm starved for love. Not ordinary love but real love. The love that's like music or something.

Dear Mr Skully, I have caught my neck in a mangle and will be indisposed for eternity. Yours in death S.D.

Expect the worst and that's what you'll get only it will be much worse.

I got disappointed in human nature as well and gave it up because I found it too much like my own.

The purpose of writing is to make your mother and father drop dead with shame.

Revenge is what I want. Nothing but pure unadulterated revenge. But my mother brought me up to be a lady.

Rid the mind of knowledge when looking for pleasure. Or start thinking and find a lot of pain.

I have learned to find happiness not by possessing wealth and splendor but by giving it away for mankind.

You are a tower of God.

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

It was a bit of a lark when I agreed to do [Smokey and the Bandit], and I knew we'd have fun if we could get Jackie Gleason.

At the end of the day, you know, love does not happen between two perfect people as much as we would wish.

If I hadn't gone to dancing school, I would have married and had children like my mum and had a normal life.

The religious hospitals would jeopardize their patients' lives rather than perform a medically necessary abortion is not mere speculation, it is documented fact.

Do not expect God always to give you His thrilling minutes, but learn to live in the domain of drudgery by the power of God.

Revolution begins with the self, in the self.... We'd better take the time to fashion revolutionary selves, revolutionary lives, revolutionary relationships. Mouth don't win the war.

Back in the '60s, there was a car sticker that read, 'Forget Oxfam, Feed Twiggy,' but I ate like a horse.