The insanity rate per capita in South Africa is appalling. ...it is easily seen that a primary requisite in any programme of the rehabilitation of the Bantu in South Africa would be mental health.

You don't get rich writing science fiction. If you want to get rich, you start a religion.

Freedom is for honest people. No man who is not himself honest can be free – he is his own trap.

What is true for you is what you have observed yourself. And when you lose that, you have lost everything.

Never regret yesterday. Life is in you today and you make your tomorrow.

Nothing in Scientology is true for you unless you have observed it and it is true according to your observation

Scientology is the only specific (cure) for radiation (atomic bomb) burns.

They smell of all the baths they didnt take. The trouble with China is, there are too many chinks here.

To love in spite of all is the secret of greatness. And may very well be the greatest secret in this universe.

The test of true competence is the end result.

The only way you can control people is to lie to them. You can write that down in your book in great big letters. The only way you can control anybody is to lie to them.

I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me.

You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid.

I think it can be fun to write about relationships just because so many people can relate to what you are feeling.

Try, if you can, to belong to the first class. There's far less competition.

No one has a right to happiness.

I read to make myself feel awake.

Obama's record on climate issues is not all bad.

Try this: say the words "global, global, global" aloud several times, as fast as you can. You'll find yourself sounding like a turkey ("gobble, gobble, gobble").

If I had to choose between government without newspapers, and newspapers without government, I wouldn't hesitate to choose the latter

I have been brought up and trained to have the utmost contempt for people who get drunk.