The integrity of my sleep has been forever compromised, sir.

I do things like get in a taxi and say, "The library, and step on it.

It can become an exercise in trying to get the reader to like and admire you instead of an exercise in creative art.

One of the things that makes Wittgenstein a real artist to me is that he realized that no conclusion could be more horrible than solipsism.

If your fidelity to perfectionism is too high, you never do anything.

I know I'm paranoid, but am I paranoid enough?

This might be one way to start talking about differences between the early postmodern writers of the fifties and sixties and their contemporary descendants.

How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it’s just words.

Everybody is identical in their secret unspoken belief that way deep down they are different from everyone else.

In the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship.

In reality, there is no such thing as not voting: you either vote by voting, or you vote by staying home and tacitly doubling the value of some Diehard's vote.

A whetstone, though it cannot cut, may sharpen a knife that will.

Can anyone actually find a replacement for a lost loved one?Isn't there a difference between things and human beings?

A father’s only dream is to hear his daughter ask to kill some zombies. Go for it, sweetie. Make this old man proud.

If you owe ten pounds to the Bank of England, you get thrown in jail, but if you owe a million pounds, they invite you to sit on the Board

Real love is a permanently self-enlarging experience.

Sometimes it takes looking at the past to really be able to move forward and learn from it.

Once an affair is over, the cheaters need to agree not to see each other anymore in order to reestablish trust with their spouses.

I'm becoming more and more apolitical - I think the most revolutionary thing you can do is just live your life and have a good time. Before they scoop you up on the street or you die.

The thing I liked about writing about food when I started it was that I felt I was writing about food in a different way. Not like a food writer.

The children of each generation are taught to want what they are taught they must not have.