The internet has done nothing but good for comedy all around. Comedians no longer have to rely on TV execs and club owners deciding if they are funny or not.

Race, Religion, Ethnic Pride, Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you have never met

You never hear in the news, "200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the north."

If you're offended by any word in any language, it's probably because your parents were unfit to raise a child.

There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.

There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.

I am a very mediocre intellect, at best, and I am smarter than most people I know - and that terrifies me.

Shouldn't the long-term goal of any society be complete unemployment?

One UK paper described me as a "miserablist", a word I'd never heard before or since. I looked it up and it means someone who can only be happy when they are miserable. Perfect.

I think a lot of women look at prostitutes like they're scabs crossing an union picket line, where they go: You can't just go out and sell it for what it's worth, we're holding out for so much more!

What if I don't want a leader? Where does that vote go? I do good on my own. I don't want to be led.

If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have the time to do it over?

My friends, life is so serious that if you are not aware of whom you are, your "youniversity" will be prestigious but unknown!

I understand if you choose to leave. If it means you get to live, I'd let you go. But you need to know, I won't ever regret a moment we've spent together

There is no affirmation without the one who affirms. in this sense, everything to which you grant your love is yours

I'm not a make-up person, but I love wearable products that are easy to use, with fun packaging

The gospel assures you that your value is not dependent on your looks or material possessions.

Where else is fatness at a premium? The answer is clear. There are two classes of mammals which are liable to accumulate large quantities of adipose tissue - hibernating mammals and aquatic mammals.

Rather than strive to 'lose weight,' most people would be better off striving to lose only fat and to build or maintain muscle.

A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.

It is not after we understand the truth that we attain enlightenment. To realize the truth is to live - to exist here and now.