The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty and a premium upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

Men regard it as their right to return evil for evil and, if they cannot, feel they have lost their liberty.

People do complain about the way I act on stage... They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.

The only thing that matters is the choice you are making now--this very instant.

I wouldn't miss the fame. I don't go out hunting for it. I try to avoid it and to slip into the background wherever I go.

Faith is not faith which is not tried.

Special effects are characters. Special effects are essential elements. Just because you can't see them doesn't mean they aren't there.

I make myself laugh all the time. I think I'm really funny. I do.

I eat everything. I'm just an eater. If it's free, I honestly eat everything.

Friendship, obligation and greed are not good enough reasons to write anything.

It's a pity that Milosevic did not live through the trial and get his deserved sentence.