The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

Dream, believe, strive, achieve.

Media. I think I have heard of her. Isn't she the one who killed her children?

Looking at the ocean makes me miss people, and hanging out with people makes me miss the ocean.

Our objective is to position Nissan in the top rank of the car industry. Until we get there, there will be no rest.

I haven't got a writer's discipline.

I like it when the waiter askes you if you want parmesan cheese on your dinner, yeah, give me essence of puke all over me tea!

Increasing meaning and joy on the planet is the ultimate goal because within that space all evil is cast out.

Now, one cannot read nonsense with impunity.

Those who are the hardest for me to love are probably those who need my love the most.

The right to work, I had assumed, was the most precious liberty that man possesses. Man has indeed as much right to work as he has to live, to be free, to own property.