The key to happiness. Hm.... There are just so many factors. I think it's just a way of being. It's about.... every little thing in moderation. Whether it be stress, anger, joy, depression.

Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason.

Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you really mean: 'Wow, you're really ugly in person.'

Thank you... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.

In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing.

The man who invented Doritos has passed away at the age of 97. He asked to be buried with the creator of Fritos and Cheetos in a variety pack.

I just really don't like being the center of attention that much. It's kind of ironic.

If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice.

I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your boyfriend.

Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model.

I don't shoot guns. I don't know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with my fists.

Any moment now, I thought, he was going to wake up. Any moment.

Fear is just like mist. Don’t let it disorient you from living outside God's palm. Acknowledge it, then take any one step in any one direction... and repeat.

You stay close to me, Mikki Jones. Close enough that I can hear you breathe. Got it? ""You always take care of new recruits?""Never

It doesn't matter where I am - China will stay in me. I don't know how far I can still walk on this road and what is the limit.

Look up here, I'm in heaven.

It is not expected of critics that they should help us to make sense of our lives; they are bound only to attempt the lesser feat of making sense of the ways we try to make sense of our lives.

you can’t use logic on human behavior.

Your soul is a dark forest. But the trees are of a particular species, they are genealogical trees.

I'm more interested in writing about the personal stories of people. Sometimes I don't agree with them.

What is beauty? It's what you love.