The kids are not brought up to have minds of their own as individuals.

Man's idea of God, and a God's collusion, is an essential part of the equation to wage war.

God invented mankind because he loved silly stories.

There's no such thing as a mistake, really. It's just an opportunity to do something else.

Moral authority has been laid to rest, world opinion is no more than a game show and the difference between good and evil is about as relevant as changing channels.

Evil is always devising more corrosive misery through man's restless need to exact revenge out of his hate.

I get my best ideas in a thunderstorm. I have the power and majesty of nature on my side.

Call immediately. Time is running out. We both need to do something monstrous before we die.

America is ripe for lies and lethargy. The pure mountain air is going and gone. It is a huge burden and a sadness for us all.

Whats a gonzotic frenzy? Well its me in the throes of an ink splattering attempt to capture the feeling I have at that particular time.

Suspicion and doubt lead to animosity and hatred.

The cool, lithe, cynical, and unconquered lord of the housetops.

I have done all the work I usually do and a little bit more, so hopefully that will produce results in at least one of the last two Tests.

I have the best job in the world. There's not really a lot to moan or whine about. I've got the privilege of going out and doing something I absolutely love.

Immitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

What great comedians, great comic writers, great comic actors do is that they just read the headlines with the right eyebrow position and it's funny.

There is only one ultimate and effectual preventative for the maladies to which flesh is heir, and that is death.

One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life's least appreciated pleasures in defecation.

Listen, my body is attracted to your body but when you speak it makes my brain angry.

Weight control does have to be for a lifetime or you'll be yo-yoing.

I'd like to be an assistant producer to a reality show.