The kind of accidents you prefer to call...accidents.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Sometimes to stay alive, you gotta kill your mind.

What if I can't ever be who you want me to be? What if I keep letting you down?

An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it's going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming.

I would like to take revenge but I'm not looking for excuses for having lost to her

Society is an insane asylum ran by the inmates.

False is the body, false are the clothes; false is beauty.

The things we are attached to are no more than shadows of the past.

I love the big fights. Obviously you can't fight just for the money but the money is nice.

Bring it on, Tinker Bell.

Character + Chance = Success