The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

I should love her like there is an ache that won't go away unless I'm with her.

Finding happiness by delivering it.

For everything there is a reason. Just go and search it in the big mess!

Be not overcome of evil but overcome evil with good.

Destroy yourselves, you who are desperate, and you who are tortured in body and soul, abandon all hope. There is no more solace for you in this world. The world lives off your rotting flesh.

We reject: kings, presidents and voting. We believe in: rough consensus and running code.

Awards shows are my greatest inducement to get back into shape.

When you resist doing what you know needs done, it is difficult. Find a mental way to enjoy it, and just do it, and it is easy.

As long as you're excited about what you're playing, and as long as it comes from your heart, it's going to be great.

I always wondered if there was a purpose to the universe, if there was a plan, if there was some sort of organizing factor, hopefully that I played a role in.