The last few years of my life have been a little like a long ride in a Poop de Ville with the bottom down.

All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian.

Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.

No Taxes. Let's just tip the government 15% if they do a good job.

I must choose my words carefully in order to avoid any negative interpretation. Among politicians, this is a tactic known as lying.

Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.

I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.

I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.

Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'

We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.

Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.

he is both the source of my happiness and the one i want to share it with.

By empowering women, we empower the nation.

Larry Hagman was a huge star, and he was carrying my stuff for me.

It is well to fetter the wings of our fancy and restrain its flights.

At 17, we all think we know what we're doing.

What I'm saying is we [Democratic Party] need to get much more granular.

There is plenty of people I'd love to collaborate with, would love to produce with, would love to write songs with.

I hope that my investment into Atomico will become my best financial investment to date.

By skepticism . . . we arrive first at suspension of judgment, and second at freedom from disturbance.