The last thing I'd learn, well into my career, was how to get on, how to say hello, how to get in with the audience.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Wenn man nachts nicht schläft, werden Träume wahr.

Transform your desire into love, and limits start to lose their usefulness.

You know the saying? Don't go in if you don't have a skin.

Easy, man." He slowly turned and his dark eyes narrowed. "Don't mess up your house. Or my face. You like us both. We'll deal with how to handle this as soon as you calm down.

It's good to know where you come from. It makes you what you are today. It's DNA, it's in your blood.

It's the age of reason for the anarchist.

Don't ever write anything you don't like yourself and if you do like it, don't take anyone's advice about changing it. They just don't know.

There are pop-culture things on television [that I like]. Not so much in music at all.

Run with what works: Sell to the people who believe in you and are willing to take the chances and make the experience happen.

I wasn't a very good waitress, always spilling things on people and forgetting things. I once spilled ashes all over Mike Wallace's table.