The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie. And an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark...

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Sometimes change was good. Sometimes it was even exactly what you needed.

She built her character with the adversity she had faced, so she could live the best of her life for the rest of life.

Science is a satisfactory curiosity.

You only have to bat 1.000 in two things-flying and heart transplants. Everything else, you can go four in five.

The difficulty is old, but none the less real. An omnipotent being who created a world containing evil not due to sin must Himself be at least partially evil.

In the society, where people are just parts in a larger machine, individuals are unable to develop fully.

I like kids' work more than work by real artists any day.

The artist draws the people. The whole idea is for people to dig themselves, just mingle around meeting different other people. That's cool.

I'm pretty transparent and have no problem sharing my weaknesses.

Even if you make a mistake, you can go back and do the right thing.