The laughs are honestly bigger, ... They are the kind of unexpected belly laughs you get with your friends during conversation.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

Personally I don't like it when writers become excessively proscriptive about the way that people read their books.

How cruel the Penal Laws are which exclude me from a fair trial with men whom I look upon as so much my inferiors.

Books are the carriers of civilization. Without books, history is silent.

We have a terrific economy, it's like a great athlete that's had a cardiac arrest.

Be sober, be vigilant because your adversary the Devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

wherever there's laughter, there is heaven

But I had no plans to end my own life, and accidents couldn't be predicted. Neither could murder, unless my aunt and uncle were planning to take me out themselves.

Stay with us, please remain in this country and constitute a nation based on national unity.

I think it would be slightly perverse to continue tempting fate by going back to the same places and doing the same sort of thing.