The left have not the ability to get into reality in any way, shape, manner, or form.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

The train rolled right through dinner and over the sunset and around ten o'clock and into a nap and out the next day...

You usually can't tell what's inspiring until you look back on it.

It's the picnic principle. Things taste better outdoors. And if it's a forbidden thing, so much the better.

Only those who are asleep make no mistakes.

I know you can be funny without being filthy.

When it comes to the work, I'm excited to see what people think. When it comes to the private life, that's when I don't pay attention.

It's good to be the king.

Maybe women get to a certain age and they no longer have a filter; they're considered crazy people or something.

Football is potential post-career suicide.

There is an aggression implicit in every use of the camera.