The less [government] the better.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

He didn’t utter threats. He delivered promises.

The struggle to leave the cocoon is what strengthens the butterfly’s wings so she can fly. I am about to become something beautiful.

Made a wrong turn.ones or twice.

If the U.S. succeeds in destroying the revolution, my status will be like that of most Cubans: I'll be up a creek without a paddle. It will be devastating for people worldwide who believe in justice.

The reality of it is you have to be over the top if you want to be noticed.

He speaks of you only with the greatest pride, Will

Language can be very adept at hiding the truth.

I am the president of the sorority and I'm sure there are plenty of people I've pissed off enough to go on a killing spree.

Wearing a dress shows I can be as feminine as I want. I'm a heterosexual...big deal, but if I was a homosexual, it wouldn't matter, either.

learning is never wrong. Even learning how to kill isn't wrong. Or right. It's just a thing to learn, a thing I can teach you. That's all.