The letters in 'Brace Beemer' can be arranged to spell 'Embrace Beer.'

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Love is a combination of care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect and trust.

It is a blessing to experience hardship. Not because we suffer, but because we learn to endure.

If a ruler who wants to act honourably is surrounded by unscrupulous men, his downfall is inevitable.

I wrote this book to show you that a cure is entirely possible because I've seen it happen over and over again.

During my first few weeks in Italy, all my Protestant synapses were zinging in distress, looking for a task. I wanted to take on pleasure like a homework assignment, or a giant science fair project.

Grab this day by the neck and kiss it.

Karma is engendered by states of mind. If you are in a happy state of mind, that will engender one kind of karma. If you are in an unhappy state of mind, that will engender another kind of karma.

Strive to accomplish the very best you are capable of. Nothing less than your best effort will suffice.

Happiness can be close by, even if your heart is far away.

For alarmingly large chunks of an average day, I am a moron.