The life in which nothing happens goes the fastest, because it has no landmarks.

O, the red rose may be fair, And the lily statelier; But my shamrock, one in three Takes the very heart of me!

The kind need kindness most of all.

The trouble with the Irish question always has been that it was an English question.

There is an Irish way of paying compliments as though they were irresistible truths which makes what would otherwise be an impertinence delightful.

Often our bad moments are self-propelled ... And the drama is almost exclusively within our heads and hearts.

I have often heard it said that the Irish are too ready to forgive. It is a noble failing.

I have always believed that hair is a very sure index of character.

It's a strange thing now how people will know they're dying themselves when no one else could suspect anything wrong at all with them.

It is a horrible demoralizing thing to be a lawyer. You look for such low motives in everyone and everything.

Drawbacks are good when you are on holiday. If the holiday were too good you might not want to go home again.

There's an old rule of theater that goes, 'If there's a gun on the mantel in Act I, it must go off in Act III.' The reverse is also true.

The only way to truly help most drug addicts and most alcoholics is to—instead of them—change reality.

I MET MY SOUL, IT WAS WRITTEN IN A LANGUAGE KNOWN TO BE TONED FOR DARKNESS BUT LIGHT IN TRUTH

When we fail we are merely joining the great parade of humanity that has walked ahead of us and will follow after us.

I am a misanthrope and yet utterly benevolent, have more than one screw loose yet am a super-idealist who digests philosophy more efficiently than food.

Most schools have only a microwave or deep fryer, hardly the tools needed to feed our children real, fresh food.

People say, 'Are you afraid? Are you scared for your life?' and I tell them: If I choose today to tone it down, if I choose today to shut up, tomorrow me, you, and all of us will be forced to.

The X-Games - I watch that; I'm not impressed. That's white dudes' desperation. They're running out of sports. They gotta find something that black dudes won't touch.

Patterned after an Italian Renaissance palace, it is 88 times as large and one millionth as valuable to the continuation of man. that Pentagon of traveling salesmen.

The play is always fresh to me. It's not the audience's fault that I've said the words before.