The main health hazard in the world today is people who don't love themselves.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

I would like to believe that logic is questioning your reasoning to reach a conclusion.

Being rich is an untalented artist’s consolation prize.

Media images are so important to young people feeling positive about themselves.

What we're all looking for is someone who doesn't live there, just pays for it.

I carry around such a load of non-specific guilt that every time the metal detector beeps, I always have a wild fear that this trip I absent-mindedly packed a Luger.

Unfortunately, Poots is the name that I've been graced with for my life, but it's not short for anything.

I think I have a very detailed sense of observation. I am interested in the details of people's lives and what information these details give.

My ego only needs a good rhythm section

Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.

I think the most important thing about what musicians do is the music. You can be as big an arsehole as you want but if you're not making good music, you won't get away with it.