The main problem with the Democrats is their utter negativity. They're made up of schumucks and hypocrites. They also have higher levels of immorality.

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

My grandfather always said, Don't watch your money, watch your health. So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

Blacks can get into medical school with a lower grade ... If that's true, a Jew should be able to play basketball with a lower net.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

On the murder of New York deli owner Abe Lebewohl: It's almost like wiping out Carnegie Hall. A sandwich to a Jew is just as important as a country to a Gentile.

My father was a very successful businessman, but he was ruined in the stock market crash. A big stockbroker jumped out the window and fell on his pushcart.

America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.

Open your eyes

As sure as time, history is repeating itself, and as sure as man is man, history is the last place he'll look for his lessons.

Books think for me.

If you travel in time and space, most of the people you know and love will eventually be gone. But you'll also be able to go and find them again.

For intellect is a mansion where waste is without drain.

I might say something in Spanish; it all depends on how I'm feeling, what the situation is.

God is never late and rarely early. He is always exactly right on time--His time.

You know, you have to put bread on the table. So you thank God you got the job.

Time is of the essence, The crowd and players Are the same age always, But the man in the stand, Is older every season.

We tried our best to buy Dhoni during IPL 1 but unfortunately failed to do so.