The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Style? I have no style.

If you can't take a good kicking, you shouldn't parade how much luckier you are than other people.

When I visit again some haunt of my youth, I am glad to find that nature wears so well. The landscape is indeed something real, and solid, and sincere, and I have not put my foot through it yet.

I try to do yoga. I really enjoy stretching and having a nice yoga class or taking a run on the beach. I'm not a big fan of the gym. I try to be out as much as possible.

The garden where you sit Has never a need of flowers, For you are the blossoms And only a fool or the blind Would fail to know it

I was just so lucky to have a wonderful life after a tough marriage.

Write what you like; there is no other rule.

If you give people literacy, bad ideas can be attacked and experiments tried, and lessons will accumulate.

Just keep believing. This is an opportunity where great things can happen and lets be great right now.