The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

I must first have the sense of God's possession of me before I can have the sense of His presence with me.

The summer sun was not meant for boys like me. Boys like me belonged to the rain.

Friends tell each other the truth, and then friends stick around for the aftermath.

I've got the rest of my life to be a grown-up. And for now, it's OK to be young.

you're just a side dish not the main course!

When I rise it will be with the ranks, and not from the ranks.

Always begin anew with the day, just as nature does. It is one of the sensible things that nature does.

At this very moment I'm behind on a compilation that Slave Labor is doing for Free Comic Book Day.

Art, to me, is a question. It should never be an answer.

My mother had a fear of doctors - other than her daughter marrying one.