The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

The biggest cause of divorse in my opinion is marriage

I'd rather be partly great than entirely useless.

We're [as parents] striving for an unattainable, inauthentic shell, and ignoring the real nut, the gooey inside: love, laughter, and fulfillment from simple things.

Wherever they burn books they will also, in the end, burn human beings.

I'm a baseball fan, but I'm not qualified to make baseball decisions, and I don't want to pretend to be.

I am independent! I can live alone and I love to work.

All art is exorcism. I paint dreams and visions too; the dreams and visions of my time. Painting is the effort to produce order; order in yourself. There is much chaos in me, much chaos in our time.

During a very busy life I have often been asked, "How did you manage to do it all?" The answer is very simple. It is because I did everything promptly.

I ask God in spirit and in truth 'what are we?'. It's the questions first.

Honey, I am going to my grave with my eyelashes and my makeup on.